Journal, Mama time, My faith journey, Uncategorized

Time to rest

It’s the most wonderful time of year when the holidays come around. I love the Christmas decorations, music, lights and time spent with family. But, it’s also the most stressful time of year…for me and my family.

Only 6 years ago, we lost my dad in a motorcycle accident. We had his funeral in December. This year we lost my Father-in-law and this will be the first season without him. We also lost a beloved pet (of 10 years) only a week ago. We have had 2 years of renovations and it continued into this month unexpectedly. Our home was so unlivable, we stayed with my Mother-in-law for a week while we waited for someone to come help. We have had to replace walls and get a new roof. My son has had back-to-back double ear infections. And THEN, a Lowe’s truck demolished our mailbox in the middle of all this.

In the meantime, I made a promise to a handful of beautiful clients that I would do some commissions for them for Christmas. I stuck by my word and I delivered. I was completely displaced and had to carry my supplies here and there. I managed to keep all of the art safe, get it packaged and shipped.

I still have another handful of commissions waiting in the wings.

I also have just gotten my work up in a new art gallery. One of the stipulations being that I can restock when needed. I have been restocking on top of the commissions.

And more wonderful beautiful work is coming in!

This money has really helped my family when bills were tight. When we went out to eat too many times (stress and time constraints make that snow-ball happen) or when we had to pay extra on a credit card because we were a day late.

It all adds up onto our shoulders…the good with the bad. We want our Christmas’s to be warm and fuzzy and without mishap. We want to be able to afford some small gifts for our friends and family. We want to be able to pay for gas to travel to see these same friends and family.

Oh and we have to hire someone to watch and feed the dog(s)!

Now, what is the point of all this, poor pitiful me business? Well, I will tell you!

In the midst of it all, we are growing and stretching and being molded into stronger more resilient people. We thank God for our blessings and we thank God for our trials….and we have had some trials even before this Holiday season. We are not perfect, our lives are messy and gross at times. We fight and argue and want to escape it all, only to realize all that we have.

With more blessings, there comes more responsibility. I am blessed to have folks who want to buy my art. But with those blessings comes the responsibility of following through.

My Mother-in-law so eloquently said to me the other day “I don’t know how you do it!” Honestly, I don’t either! My husband and I both work equally hard. We share all of the weight of it and try to help each other when we can.

I recently realized that also in the midst of this, I need to pick and choose what I can give my time to. If I am going to build an art clientele and following then I have to let some other things go. I choose to let go of house cleaning! Now I am not saying that I won’t pick up, that happens constantly and without end. However, I am letting go of the scrubbing and washing. I have NEVER had the means to do this and if it weren’t for the insane month that we have had I would still be trying to hold on to it and do it myself to save money.

But today, I invest in myself so that I can give that time back to my family. I can play a little longer and love a little more. I can be happy this holiday because the weight has been lifted just that little tiny bit. I refuse to feel like I have failed because I have decided to let it go and hire someone to help me. I choose me and I choose my family over the stressed out, frustrated screaming, foot stomping, door slamming BS that would ensue if I couldn’t pull it all off on my own. Oh and of course “perfectly.”

I’m done! I am giving it over to the professionals! Period.

In the meantime, I will be down on the clean floor playing cars with my beautiful little boy without that nagging feeling of one more chore to do. I will be able to laugh and let go a little for the sake of sanity.

I am so thankful in this.

You should take care of you too. Even if you can’t afford to get a cleaning lady or do this or that…there are things you can let go of and/or delegate. We should focus on our loved ones and forget all of the other nonsense that comes with holiday parties and various expectations we put on ourselves (because tis the season).

It’s time to rest.



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